Mermaids Don't Exist

by Coo Coo Bad Brains

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A collection of bummer tunes found in a chest smothered by the stench of smoke.


released August 5, 2016

ANNOUNCING, from your favorite Boulder-based independent cassette label, the debut EP from your ex-girlfriend’s new favorite band, Coo Coo Bad Brains! What started as a “solo project” some several months ago by a very bored man sitting alone in his bedroom one day has snowballed into a legitimate music playing gang that’s already undergone several lineup changes, and we all know you’re not allowed to call yourself a band until you’ve kicked someone out and/or they’ve left of their own discord. (We kid – the bassist moved to Seattle to pursue an internship with Sub Pop and the drum machine just couldn’t hang.)

Mermaids Don’t Exist will strike into the depths of the soul of any listener who’s a fan of the following: jangly, warbling guitars. Obscured vocals, pitch-shifted and often hidden beneath layers of musical nostalgia. Cheap whiskey. Shitty wine. Found footage. Smoke. More nostalgia. If you’re an introvert who likes talking about your problems, if you hate meeting new people but still go out just to feel awkward and complain about it later – THIS RECORD IS FOR YOU.

The process? Allow everyone contributing complete freedom to express whatever they happen to be feeling at the time. The outcome? A combination of ambient, spoken word, and chaotic noise sprinkled atop a lush mountain of bummer rock. CCBB lulls you in with their tempting, incandescent and boyish charm only to slap you in the face and drop you off a cliff of distortion, leaving you wallowing half-drunk in your own waste of emotions. Coo Coo Bad Brains gets you. Nobody else does, but they do.

Friends was recorded in a bathtub. The rest was recorded at the radio station where the band works.

Coo Coo Bad Brains at the time of the recording consisted of Colton (vocals, guitar, noise), Adam (vocals, guitar, bass, synth), James (bass), and Lazlo (drums). Donato now plays bass.

Rest in pepperoni James. Donato will never let your flame die out.

Mastered by Liam Comer
Artwork by Niko Kuklin


all rights reserved



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Track Name: Vanity Plate
wait in the car
i'll make a call

wait in the car
i won't take too long
you won't remember who we are

we don't talk much
it's not the same
we take too much
everything's the same
i forgot his name again

i was leaving
for a good reason

when it is over
it will start again
there is no difference
it never ends
Track Name: Chunk
tampering with my legs shaved
shelter in a pillow room
i'll gently rage
bedfellows in my dreams
tell me not to leave i beg you please
frantically changing thought
run to the basement door my sight is gone

i fell down
i fell down
it all went black
as i stood up

no medication for me please
i'd stay away from drugs I like to be
breathless in the other room
melt in the silence of our conversation
blanket pattern of stars
run to the basement door my sight is gone

i fell down
i fell down
it all went black
as i stood up
Track Name: Soap Scum
a broken down saturn approaches me
with the smell of cigarettes and weed
take a seat lets go
to your second home
away from here
cause we can't stay

i'll blend in today
no one noticed me
feeling hard to love
feeling weird above
i want to stay inside
i'll never figure it out

a cavernous personality
and you can't sit very comfortably
separate yourself from you so-called friends
cause they don't care for you today

i'll blend in today
no one noticed me
feeling hard to love
feeling weird above
i want to stay inside
i'll never figure it out
Track Name: Toyotathon
shut the blinds in the room
enough to walk, but not to run
cast the line, spark the flint
puff a smoke, don't say shit
i wanted her, but she said no more
ignore the bullshit, sorry i swore
can't maintain under pressure
find the comfort in the liquor
cowboy boots, and tarnished glasses
sing the chorus to the masses
i wonder if i'll ever feel right
though about it through the whole night
vicious cycle, untold pleasure
tantalizing beyond measure
faint breath, stale air
make it stop. i can't bare.
teeth clenched, spit out blood
find a noose in the mud
tell her things to make her feel bad
all i want is to stay mad
make her cry, tears of paint
this is why she cant relate
can't compare, don't compare
to the life you can't share
let me go, let her go, let it go
fine, fine, fine, fine, fine
time to die.
Track Name: Friends
in the morning i won't make coffee
i'm tired of talking when they don't know me
the time we crammed 6 in a hotel
you promised not to lose me in the crowd

i'm left out of plan's with my friends
everything is fine, i'm melodramatic
when i'm high, i'm not that social
happy i'm the only one i take care of
Track Name: Cooper
i'm an asshole
i fucked you over
come over red rover

i'm an asshole
i fucked you sober
red rover come over

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